Comfort for Tough Times

I will be with you when you pass through the waters, and ⌊when you pass⌋ through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. You will not be scorched when you walk through the fire, and the flame will not burn you. Isaiah 43:2 (HCSB)

Whenever we go through very difficult times, it is easy for us to build a new theology a new perspective of God and of yourself either during the trial or possibly sometime after it. At times this newly created lens about God and or yourself is very accurate and biblical, while at other times it takes on a shape that both boxes and taints the reality of the Holy One and His view of you. 

Many years ago I had prayed for the city of Orange and that I would have the privilege of pastoring not just a church there but also the whole city. For twelve years I prayed this type of prayer believing that this vision was of God and that it would some day happen. On September 1, 2002, that day arrived. I was so excited, the beginning of a dream realized. I spoke about vision and where I believed that church was headed. The twenty-nine people who attended (they were checking out the new guy) were excited but somewhat skeptical. The following week we had forty-three people (who were also checking out this new guy) and I believed we were on our way to a lifetime of impacting the city that I so love for Christ. About a month later, the private accountant that we hired to make sense of the church and school finances revealed some news that would 3 ½ years later cause my vision to be extinguished.  My predecessor had embezzled all sorts of money and had locked us into leases that buried us financially. We owed numerous venders thousands of dollars; the school principal basically hid this news from both the church board and the new lead pastor. This news hit me hard, but I believed we would be able to overcome these huge obstacles and be a positive testimony in the community.  The next three and a half years was a huge struggle, trying to overcome both the financial problem and negative stigma that was Orange Christian Assembly. The sacrifices physically, emotionally and financially took a ginormous toll on me and my family.  There are so many nuances that would enhance this story, but neither time nor my emotional state will warrant going into any more details. After 3 ½ years I submitted and read my resignation letter to the board and congregation. It was the lowest time in my life. I had walked through a fire that was created by another, burned crisp, looked down upon from my denomination, (They wanted me to continue without pay and at the risk of killing me and my family) discouraged, depressed, visionless with no thought of doing any pastoral ministry in the future. My dream was realized and then violently taken from me.

As difficult as it was/is, there is still some residue in my life and on my family from the whole church ministry episode. The tragic experience has shaped me into the dysfunctional person that I am today. I deal with fear, discouragement, lack of confidence and identity on a semi-regular basis.

All this personally divulged information is not given so you can feel sorry for me, but only to let you know that I have personal experience to the verse mentioned above. I have gone through the fire and was refined, I passed through the waters and it cleansed me and didn’t drown me. The other interesting fact is that being refined and cleansed is welcomed in my life. God requires it and even puts that desire in my heart. You may be going through a dark valley, the heat might be getting extremely hot, or you are taking what seems to be your last breath before you drown in the depths of life’s swirling waters. Just remember what the Lord promises you: I will be with you when you pass through the waters, and ⌊when you pass⌋ through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. You will not be scorched when you walk through the fire, and the flame will not burn you. Isaiah 43:2 (HCSB). It was true for Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego walking freely in the fiery furnace.  It was also true for the nation of Israel as they walked through the dry land of both the Red Sea and the waters of the Jordan. They were tried and challenged beyond logic and yet their testimony of His love, power and deliverance can speak volumes for us even today.